Where are you God?

Have you ever felt alone?  
I mean truly alone.  Not just the absence of people, but isolated. Shipwrecked. Even in the midst of a sea of people….


I have.
and am only now beginning to come out on the other side, not wanting to look back but wondering-

What was that?! and why. . . 

This latest wilderness experience was scary.
Not in the fact that I was alone, I enjoy segments of aloneness.
It was in the knowledge of what I needed to do and did do, yet there was an incredible lack of feeling.

Walking in faith.  That was all I had.

Lukewarm would be an appropriate term to have labeled it.
My head knew I cared, but my heart was unexpectedly encloaked in some vault and untouchable.

Let me clarify, there were moments.

Snapshots of hope.

Glimpses of the passion of my first love.
In fact, that was the only thing I held onto as I continued in the disciplines (prayer, study, worship, service) desperate for a breakthrough. Clinging to hope.

It brought back memories of the many years I walked alone, before I followed Christ.
Some of the memories came in the craziest forms of temptations, enticing, questioning. . . did God really say?
Others reminded me of the lost girl hungry for the love of a God that seemed so far away.

Casting them out, I stumbled to the cross again and again and again most days unable to voice even a word.
Sitting there waiting. Hoping. . . trusting

The past two weeks God has opened my eyes once again to His Word.
I realized that I began on this path, a slight veer when I allowed subtle deceptions and distractions to alter my focus.
Just a bit. Just enough. . . it was too much.

I Timothy 4:13-16 encourages us,
Until I come, give attention to the public reading of Scripture,to exhortation and teaching. Do not neglect the spiritual gift within you, which was bestowed on you through prophetic utterance with the laying on of hands by the presbytery. Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that your progress will be evident to all.  Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you.”

My friends, we are in the last days. . .

Deception comes in many forms and none of us are immune- if those (Adam & Eve) who walked with God  could be fooled, how much more could we?

Check yourself, let your heart cry “search me O God and know my heart” Ps 139:23  for the ways of a man seem right in his own eyes. (Prov. 12:15; 14:12; 16:25)

I pray this note is not in vain, that you will find encouragement. Regardless of where you are or what you do, remember that there are seasons and in many, we must just hold fast, not give up, and trust…

Let’s join hands today and press onward.
Christ alone the hope of glory.

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