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Moving Forward

The movement is forward, perfection a distorted consideration behind me.
Motion, movement and reality is the goal.
My consistency although interrupted at times is still leaving me adding mileage onto my weeks. (translation) The effort to “do” has become easier but the actual “action” has become harder.
In fact, I am beginning to look forward to my runs once again, this is so strange as in the not so distant past it was the highlight of my day… anyhow- let’s focus forward rather than allowing the past to trip us as we move into the future.
*sigh*
Due to adding distance (developing a habit) the effort exerted is more demanding.  I can literally feel every muscle (ok slight exaggeration here) in my legs. The mechanical movement of running has not become second nature yet in fact, I have to focus and move my legs forward- flex -forward -flex.
Regardless of uphill/ downhill or on the flat the focus remains unchanged although the effort exerted varies.
It made me think of the revelation I had in my own life regarding relationship.
I correlated the effort expended when spending personal time with God to that exertion required during my downhill run. Focus required with minimal effort- then I corrected myself.  Nope, right now it is more comparable to running uphill…. gasp, why?
Because of the guilt attached. (ummm. really?)
My “do” personality wants to make me think that time resting, listening in His presence has no real value. Crazy huh, but maybe you think the same?
I believe that if the devil can’t get me bad he’ll try to get me busy.
In the distraction of meeting the needs of those around we can do a lot of “good” yet miss doing the “God” stuff He actually called us to accomplish. We can only be made aware of what our “God-stuff” (rather than good-stuff) is, when we take time out to hear His voice and direction.
Hmmm how can she be in ministry if challenged by such a basis principle?
Yet, as I read God’s word and biographies of christian men and women I have realized that I am not alone in daily struggles and insights, our walk is a process and some of our challenges even cyclical in nature.  It is our thorn in the flesh that keeps us humble.
I wonder how often it is only when we think we’ve arrived – or overcome all, that our sin may be hidden just beneath the surface. (at least from our view).
Perhaps only exposed during a brief yet guarded flare of temper, in the quiet stillness of our room as we curl in defeat, or in the thinly veiled deception of our lives…
Honestly for me, I’d rather be open and let God deal with me upfront and have all of you see my challenges then thinking “i am right in my own eyes” when that is far from God’s truth.
Care to share your thoughts?

 

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